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View Full Version : Query Bloopers and Unraveling the Agent Mystery


Delilah Rehm
11-13-2007, 04:24 PM
I stumbled upon this funny bit of blogging from raleva31 (http://raleva31.livejournal.com/51034.html)on livejournal. I never seem to get enough of these real life stories of how inept some people are when it comes to the process of finding an agent. And in the spirit of hilariousness, I present you with my list of what agents really are (as opposed to working professionals desiring a professional relationship with other professionals):


Agents are rare and mystical creatures to be wooed with gift baskets and chocolate.
Agents are appreciative and receptive to persistence. Yes, they will thoroughly read through that manuscript you shoved under the toilet stall while they were peeing.
Agents are snot nosed brats who wouldn't recognize good taste if it bit them on the nose. They only have survived in the industry because of good marketing on the part of publishers.
Agents can only be found in the great pumpkin patch once a year, but only then if you really believe.
Agents are gods and goddesses who like to crush our merely mortal dreams while laughing evilly.
Agents are blood sucking vampires greedily taking a 15% cut when everyone knows that like housewives, all they do is sit around eating bon bons and watching soap operas. They survive because writers need their stamp of approval to reach an editors deskÖ And donít start me on editors!