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Shadow
08-26-2015, 10:20 AM
We posted another clan profile today from our upcoming zombie, action RPG, Zombasite. You can check out the Fang on the Zombasite clans page (http://www.soldak.com/Zombasite/Clans.html).

Roswitha
08-26-2015, 07:01 PM
Just a couple of comments:

"The truth is that no one can unravel the truth when it comes to the Fang Clan."
I would rephrase this as, "The truth is that no one can unravel the truth like the Fang Clan."

"They are more than practiced liars, but impeccable spies besides."
I would rephrase this as, "They are more than practiced liars; they're impeccable spies besides."

"They revel in other's misfortune." other's should be others'.

It sounds like you might have started alpha testing. :)

Bluddy
08-27-2015, 12:15 AM
How about an edit of both blurbs?

The fierce fighting naga clan, Fang, excels at both bravado and warrior skills. Their true talent, however, lies in the hidden arts of subterfuge and espionage. Reveling in others' misfortune - especially if they had a hand in it - is all part of their sadistic game. That, and their eternal thirst for power.

The Demon Spears clan makes up in numbers what it lacks in strength. Made up of the scree - small, demon-like beings who swarm together - the Demon Spears make deals and allies, but seldom stay true to their word. Survivors tell stories of thousands of cowardly yet persistent screes thriving on the chaos of battle, following the trail of blood to their victims, where they'll happily consume soft tissues such as organs or eyeballs.

Shadow
08-27-2015, 12:10 PM
It sounds like you might have started alpha testing. :)

Yeah, we are pretty far through alpha.